I'm all official now

Last night I finally joined Weight Watchers online. It is SO much easier than what I've been doing. I wish I could have gotten on the new plan sooner, but money did not allow it. I'm feeling really happy with my progress, and extremely excited about what's to come. I set my goal for their 5% recommendation, so my next goal is 237.5, and then I'll move on to a 10% goal of 225, etc. It's just really nice to be less stressed out about the entire process. Tracking what I eat and not just how many points I use helps a lot too.

Day 56 - Bye-bye 250s :)

I'm so excited and happy right now. Today I am 1/3 of the way to my goal for the year, and 1/5 of the way to my overall goal!! I have lost 10% of  my body weight so far. As if that all wasn't exciting enough, this officially lands me in the 240s and I am extremely close to my next mini-goal. I'd say it's a great start to my day.

Starting weight: 277   
Current weight 249
Current mini-goal: 248
Overall goal for the year: 209
Total lost: 28 lbs

Previous weights:  
269 1/1/2012
267 1/3/2012
266 1/10/2012
265 1/12/2012 
261 1/22/2012
260 1/28/2012  
257 2/1/2012
255 2/7/2012
254 2/9/2012
252 2/18/2012

Day 55 - Cravings and impatience

I know that I'm not actually hungry right now; I just ate. It was a good, well portioned, filling meal. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to eat. I like food, and I like eating, that's how I got to the problem I'm facing down today. Of course it's not like I'm craving fruit, veggies, or yogurt either, I am having an absurd craving for a Hostess cupcake. I suppose the only good thing is that since I am flat broke I have no way to acquire said cupcake. I'll have a bit of dark chocolate - it's ok in small amounts-  that should take care of that craving.

On another note I am extremely impatient. Don't get me wrong, I've lost 26 lbs so far, that is just under 1/5 of my goal, and that is exciting. But I want to be further along. I have started to feel a little better about myself already, but based on passed experience it will be awhile before I start to feel fantastic. That probably wont hit until somewhere in stage 2.  I guess I will just have to use that as fuel for the fire. I know that I will get there; it will feel great; it will feel like it really didn't take that long in the grand scheme of things and I should have done it ages ago. But until then it feels agonizingly slow.

The Tortoise and the Hare

One of Aesop’s Fables
Illustrated by Arthur Rackham

Once upon a time there was a hare who, boasting how he could run faster than anyone else, was forever teasing tortoise for its slowness. Then one day, the irate tortoise answered back: “Who do you think you are? There’s no denying you’re swift, but even you can be beaten!” The hare squealed with laughter.
“Beaten in a race? By whom? Not you, surely! I bet there’s nobody in the world that can win against me, I’m so speedy. Now, why don’t you try?”
Annoyed by such bragging, the tortoise accepted the challenge. A course was planned, and the next day at dawn they stood at the starting line. The hare yawned sleepily as the meek tortoise trudged slowly off. When the hare saw how painfully slow his rival was, he decided, half asleep on his feet, to have a quick nap. “Take your time!” he said. “I’ll have forty winks and catch up with you in a minute.”
The hare woke with a start from a fitful sleep and gazed round, looking for the tortoise. But the creature was only a short distance away, having barely covered a third of the course. Breathing a sigh of relief, the hare decided he might as well have breakfast too, and off he went to munch some cabbages he had noticed in a nearby field. But the heavy meal and the hot sun made his eyelids droop. With a careless glance at the tortoise, now halfway along the course, he decided to have another snooze before flashing past the winning post. And smiling at the thought of the look on the tortoise’s face when it saw the hare speed by, he fell fast asleep and was soon snoring happily. The sun started to sink, below the horizon, and the tortoise, who had been plodding towards the winning post since morning, was scarcely a yard from the finish. At that very point, the hare woke with a jolt. He could see the tortoise a speck in the distance and away he dashed. He leapt and bounded at a great rate, his tongue lolling, and gasping for breath. Just a little more and he’d be first at the finish. But the hare’s last leap was just too late, for the tortoise had beaten him to the winning post. Poor hare! Tired and in disgrace, he slumped down beside the tortoise who was silently smiling at him.
“Slowly does it every time!” he said.

http://childhoodreading.com/?p=3

I am constantly reminding myself of this story. Over the course of this kind of undertaking a person is bound to get discouraged. Sometimes even when I'm making progress I don't feel like I'm making it fast enough. That is when I remind myself that it is the Tortoise, with his slow and steady pace, not the hare, that wins the race. As much as I hate admitting it I know that the more slowly the weight comes off, the more likely it is to stay off. "Slow and steady wins the race. Be the Tortoise." Has become somewhat of a mantra for me.

Day 49 - Another one bites the dust!

I met another mini-goal today, and hit the 25 lb mark; which means I'm halfway through Stage 1 of my 5 stage plan!  Stages 1-4 are weight loss. Stage 5 is all about maintenance.
This feels particularly good right now because for the past week and a half or so I've been bouncing between 254 and 256 even though I was maintaining a good diet and exercising daily. It's nice to break through the plateau. I had been getting pretty discouraged there for awhile.

Starting weight: 277  
Current weight 252
Current mini-goal: 248
Overall goal for the year: 209
Total lost: 25
Previous weights: 
269 1/1/2012
267 1/3/2012
266 1/10/2012
265 1/12/2012
261 1/22/2012
260 1/28/2012 
257 2/1/2012
255 2/7/2012
254 2/9/2012

Stage 1
Goal weight: 238 lbs

S.W. For the year: 269
1^st mini goal: 263 - Done

2^nd mini goal: 258 - Done

3^rd mini goal: 253 Done

4^th mini goal: 248

5^th mini goal: 243

6^th mini goal: 238

Visualize

I like having visual representation of my progress, because I don't always see it when I look in the mirror.
So I made a tracker...


:)

Starting weight: 277  
Current weight 255
Current mini-goal: 253
Overall goal for the year: 209
Total lost: 22
Previous weights: 
269    1/1/2012
267 1/3/2012
266 1/10/2012
265 1/12/2012
261 1/22/2012
260 1/28/2012 
257 2/1/2012

Reflection

I want to make sure while I am on this journey that I periodically reflect on my progress. The 20 lbs mark seems like a good place to do that.
Things have changed since I...

1. Decided to really do this. 
2. made a conscious effort to get enough sleep. (for anyone that doesn't know about it, Sleepy Time is a wonderful website that helps you know exactly when you should wake up in order to feel the most rested, regardless of how much sleep you've actually gotten.)
3. Made a conscious effort to drink a lot of water.
4. started back on weight watchers. 
5.  started working out for an hour a day.

Notice there are a lot of "starts" or beginnings involved in this. I started getting enough sleep, I started making sure I was getting enough water, I started watching and tracking what I eat, and I started exercising; really  I just started taking care of myself. That's a big part of this. You have to decide to start being serious about it or you will spend all of your time wishing for something that cannot happen without you taking action.

This brings us back around to my earlier point that starting all of these things and losing 20 lbs has led to a lot of changes so far.

For example:

• I don't wake up parched anymore. 
• I don't think I'm waking up at all hours of the night anymore, anyone who has ever experienced that as a chronic issue knows what a blessing being able to sleep through the night is/would be.
• I'm not tired all the time.
• My friends, particularly my roommates, have noticed a huge shift in my personality. I'm happy and bouncy/hyper almost constantly. Before I was rather lethargic and definitely not hyper or particularly happy.
• I've noticed the increase in energy too. I cannot sit still, and sometimes now when I have trouble falling asleep it's not because my mind is reeling, it's because I'm so hyper. The downside to this is I often feel... scattered, like my brain is trying to do 10 different things at once when I'm supposed to be focusing on one. I seriously wonder sometimes if I have ADHD. 
• My clothes are fitting better all the time.

Some of these changes are probably partially thanks to the medicine I take for depression, but not wholly, this is something that only ever happens to me when I'm taking care of my physical, mental, and spiritual health. I highly recommend, by the way, that if you decide to take on the task of losing a lot of weight and have "baggage" that is just as much emotional as it is physical, that you address the emotional baggage from the get go. It will impede your progress down the road if you don't.
That's going to mean different things for different people. For me it meant getting my depression under control. It feels impossible to take action and get things done when you are so apathetic that nothing interests you and nothing seems very important. It also meant breaking a difficult cycle. As a serial dater, in the sense that I had three serious boyfriends over the course of four years, I had gotten used to always having someone there, and always having a "back-up plan" in case a relationship didn't work out. I was terrified of being single. I did myself a terrible disservice by being that way though. From 2008 through most of 2011 (18-21), I was not single for more then a couple weeks at any given time. I did not give myself a chance to find and really come to know myself, much less take care of or love myself; I was always too busy being wrapped up in someone else. It took me moving half way across the country to even begin to break that cycle. I'm happily single now for the most part, something I didn't think was possible. But it took me leaving everything I have ever known to find that happiness. I'm not saying changes always have to be drastic to work, that's just my story, my prayer is that your path is not quite so difficult. 

If you, like me, are trying to lose a lot of weight, or have the desire to start trying, you have to start believing that you are worth it, that you deserve to reach your goals. You have to start believing that you are strong and capable, and that number that seems so far away is not impossible to reach, it's just off in the distance right now. You have to remind yourself daily that this is a journey, not something that's going to happen overnight, and maybe not even something you can accomplish all in one year. You have to break it down into manageable bits and tackle it pound by pound until you get to where you want to be. You have to have patience, which is something I struggle with, and you have to remove the word "can't" from your vocabulary; unless you're using it to say "I can't continue to try to wish this problem away, I have to take action." NEVER tell yourself that you "can't do this." That is key. You have to actually believe it's possible. You have to be able to envision yourself reaching your goal weight.

I look forward to telling you more about this journey as I experience it, and anyone else out there taking the weight loss journey, you are not alone.
If you want to talk you can email me.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming - Dory from finding Nemo

Day  32
Part 2/6 of stage 1 is complete!
I have lost 20 lbs and am at my 20% mark (12 lbs) for the year, and for losing 100 lbs!!!
Maybe I'll end up losing more than 60 this year? That would be awesome, but as long as I meet that minimum goal I will be happy.
Swimming has turned out to be pretty much the best thing ever. I'm so glad I got back in the water, even though I ask myself daily if I really want to go... and am always glad that I did afterwords.



Starting weight: 277  
Current weight 257
Current mini-goal: 253
Overall goal for the year: 209
Total lost: 20
Previous weights: 
269    1/1/2012
267.2 1/3/2012
266.6 1/10/2012
265.1 1/12/2012
261.1 1/22/2012
260.0 1/28/2012

Stage 1
Goal weight: 238 lbs

S.W. For the year: 269
1^st mini goal: 263 - Done

2^nd mini goal: 258 - Done

3^rd mini goal: 253

4^th mini goal: 248

5^th mini goal: 243

6^th mini goal: 238